Everything you need to know about the movies. Short opinionated remarks from a cat who spends far too much time on the sofa, feet up, fiddling the remote control.

An essay, huh? Something lyrically metaphorical? A sweet sonnet poetically portraying the river as life and a wetsuit as the womb and a kayak as less plastic foot cramping appliance and more vehicle for self expression and inner peace? Maybe an allegorical ambuscade of ambitious amateur alliteration, an abstract apercu ascending a posteriori to an anfractuous apex of aperient aphasia? Forget it, that stuff gives me a headache. How 'bout I just tell you a story about the time I broke Marvin's leg? [more]

ROIF. Pronounced 'royf'. Hold up your index finger. Now crook it. Not 'crooked', crook. Now say the words, 'Removal Of Impacted Feces'. ROIF. [more]

Seven or eight class 5 rapids in a row, so close together you lose track, but you never forget the smell.
[RockHARD on the Russell Fork (PDF)]

Okay, American Whitewater screwed up when they pdf'ed that, it was originally titled "RockHARD on the Russell Fork", now it is apparently titled "no noclaimeD on the Russell Fork".

Let me give you an idea what this thing weighs: imagine the Liberty Bell, filled with concrete. Now mount it on the average american suburban back yard deck. Now remember that I'm a foot taller than everybody else. Everytime I got my shoulder under the stupid thing there was a loud sigh of relief from everyone... [more]

A well-respected American poet once said, "It is the patriotic duty of every red-blooded American to cheat like hell on their taxes." Of course this same poet has recently been seen dancing on the tables at a local discotheque, ladies panties on his head, screaming, "Repeal the 16th amendment!" and "Cheese is good for you!" Okay, so he's not that well-respected. Okay, he's not a poet either. Okay, okay, it was me, but... [more]

Yesterday we went to see the Escher exhibit at the basement museum of a large downtown department store. Couple of years ago we saw a Dali exhibit at a similar department store museum- poorly lit paintings hung knee high behind glass- so we didn't expect much. We were not disappointed. [more]